"Bush to Throw Out First Out First Through 120th Pitch of World Series"
"We want all the players on both teams to know that if they're hit by one of the First Pitches, they should just take their base. Anyone who charges the mound will be cut down by sharpshooters equipped with suppressed MP5 submachine guns. That goes double for you, Pierzynski."
"MLB Promises Next Season Will be Even More Predictable"
"Angels first place, A's second place, Rangers third place, Mariners last place," Selig said. "Sound familiar yet? If not, get used to it, as that will be your AL West for the next 20 or so years."
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Not sure why it took me this long to discover it, but the Onion has a new sports section which is (naturally) completely brilliant. The writers clearly know a lot about sports, and also clearly are serious baseball fans. Headlines include "MLB Introduces Todd Zeile Award for Participation", "Attempt To Delay Ejaculation By Thinking About Baseball Ruined By Crush On Johnny Damon", and "Fox Cancels ALCS After Just Two Episodes". But two brilliant ones include