Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Welcome to our site!

[editor's note: a disturbingly large proportion of the "unique visitors" to this site -- 5 in the last 24 hours -- came here by searching for "hazel may nesn" in Yahoo! search; because of a minor typo in the comments section they all ended up at this post, which, I'm sure they were disappointed to find out, does not feature topless photos of Hazel Mae. Many people have also found this site by searching for "bronson aroyo", which is my fault (and a significantly more egregious error). In this post, then, I hope to significantly increase the number of visitors to this site. My apologies to those of you who cringe at mispellings. I mean misspellings.]

Man, last night's game (#100 on the season) had everything. To borrow from Buster Onley, it featured the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. I won't divide it up into those three categories since EPSN probably has a trademark on that; but he Worst was, of course, Mat Clement getting slammed in the head by a Carl Carwford line drive. He was down for a looonnggg time, but never lost consciousness, nor his awareness of his surroundings/situation, so it (miraculously) looks like Matt Clemens (ooh, that's painful to type) will be okay. Tort Nixon was also hurt, with a strained olbique, so may be out for a while -- a month, possibly more. Luckily Gape Kaplan will be arriving soon. On to the bulpen: Chad Bradfrod (the guys featured in Moneybal), promptly gave up a grand slam to Audrey Huff, and the game (which the Sox looked like they'd win easily) was suddenly tied at 5. Manny Del Carmen made his debut in a nice 1-2-3 inning. But Jeremy Gonzalez gave up a couple more runs, and the Sox were down by 2, going into the 9th, with closer Danny Baez on the mound. Many Ramirez (whom SI is reporting wants out of Boston) struck out, but Jason Variteck hit (another solo) HR, bringing it to within 1. Millar (how do you misspell that without naming someone else on the team?) got a single, as did Olrud. Bill Miller, true to form, then hit a double, but Dale Svuem, also true to form, sent Olerud (who's remarkably slow) home, for an easy out. [Seriously, how does Swaim still have a job? Fire him already!]. Curt Shilling came in, and very nearly gave up a game-ending HR, but Jhonny Damon made a nice catch to end the inning, and the Sox had their second consecutive (and second total) extra-inning game. Jonny Damon (who has a wife, Michelle...Michelle Damon...Or maybe it's Michele Damon...I'm not sure, but at this point I might as well also say "naked pictures") then led off the next inning with a HR. Edward Renteria singled, The Big Pappi David Ortiz flew out, and Mannny hit into what looked to be a double play. But both runners were safe, barely, thanks largely to the ump refusing to call the "phantom tag" at second and a bad throw by Cantu. I was really surprised not to see Lou Pinella come out and argue that Rentera was out, but he didn't. Good thing he was called safe, because he scored on a Vartiek double which gave the Sox an insurance run. They turned out to need it, as Schiling gave up a run in the bottom of the 10th. Sox win, 10-9.

It's hard to know what to make of that game. It was a sweet victory, certainly, and may have been the Turnaround we've been looking for. But with two key players hurt, it may instead have been a Pyrhic victory.

Also, Aaron Rowland and Brett Boone and Scott Posednik and Mark Texeira and Shawn Figgins. (Who am I missing?)


  1. Doug Mintkayvich is sad you left him out. As, for that matter, is Jon Papelbom.

  2. Do you guys really have naked pictures of Johnny Damon's wife?

  3. "X" is really Johnny Damon.

    So, yes.

  4. The problem with Doug M is coming up with all the possible misspellings of his name. Particularly since late last season people just started giving up: Doug Mientkjdjakhkhjfef, etc.

    There's also his former teammate, AJ Perzinksi.

  5. The Twins have a lot of those guys:

    Jesse Crane
    Kyle Loshe
    Terry Mullholland
    Brade Radkey
    Matthew LeCroix
    Justin Morno/Mourno
    Lou Ford
    Jock Jones (okay maybe a bit of a reach)
    Joe Mawer
    Tory Hunter?

    No naked pictures of my wife, sorry.

  6. "Jock Jones" is a stretch, but "Jacques Jones" isn't.

  7. Roberto Pentagine. Petaigne. Adam Hydzu.

  8. Dude, you haven't lived until someone's started regularly hitting up your site for photos of nude Twins players, despite the fact that you have neither nude photos nor writings on Twins players on your site.

  9. Sam -- is it from back when Toriiii Hunter took "naked" batting pratice?

  10. I wrote one post that mentioned the'Red Sox Wives' cookbook, and it's still my single highest search result. Which leads me to wonder who the hell it is that's only creative enough to look for player wives on the web.

  11. How cme this post:

    Didn't end up overwhelming our site?

  12. Probably because they already have a billion sites out there which say that. Also, it may have something to do that they all look like scary coke-fiend monkey-skeletons.

  13. oh dear. Earl, I seriously get people searching for Michelle Damon almost every day (and karen varitek & jeana millar pretty much EVERY day. in fact, I got 2 hits last night from Beaumont, TX looking for jeana; you would think those people might look closer to home.) Now that you have mentioned her NAKED she will be clogging up your stats for months to come.

    Hey, you know why I've never left you guys a comment before? Because I cannot read your comments on my computer; the writing is too tiny. Ask your other commenters; they will say you are lucky b/c I leave weird comments. But I've figured out that I can read it once I'm posting a comment (duh) so now you're in trouble.

  14. No way, it was before I commented on the naked batting practice. These were straight-up random "justin morneau naked" hits.

    And now I still occasionally get one like "brandon inge shirtless", which just makes me shake my head and want to say, "Oh, anonymous searcher, if only I were so lucky. If you find it, let me know."

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