In-depth analysis of this year's draft

Draft Day is June 6. Whoop-dee-doo! Here are some very important pieces of information you need to know about it.

• The top hitting prospect is from Long Beach State. His name is "Evan Longoria", which must really suck for him, thanks to this woman. I mean, I have no sympathy for people with ultra-generic names (like "Will Smith" or "Matthew Perry") who will of course share a name with some celebrity eventually. But "Evan Longoria"? Damn, that's unlucky.
• There's now talk about the Orioles drafting Jeffrey Maier, thanks some quotes by Peter Angelos in today's Washington Post. As funny as it is, it's all total B.S. - if you read the article, everything Angelos says was in one phone call, when and unidentified "caller" told him "You'll never guess who is a pretty good college baseball player now." That "caller" is obviously Dave Sheinen, the WaPo staff reporter who wrote the story. God I hate sports "journalism". Still, it's good this was brought up, since now the Orioles can do the right thing: draft him - but refuse to sign him - every friggin' year he enters the draft.
• This is apparently a very weak year for prospects. I was trying to think when the last really bad one was, and I think it was 2000: Rocco Baldelli (6), Chase Utley (15), and my new favorite player name, Boof "You Can't Handle the Boof" Bonser (21). Compare that to the year before (Beckett, Zito, Sheets) or after (Mauer, Prior, Teixeira) - not good.

So that's it. All you need to know about the June 6 draft. Oh, and googling "You can't handle the boof" only yields one hit, which is unrelated to baseball, so I totally made up that new name for him. Everyone who uses it from now on owes me money.