"I am gay" - Kevin Millar

Ok, I admit it. I watched "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" as they made-over the Sox. It was terrible. My eyes are burning.

Beyond the obvious reasons it was bound to suck, the Fab 5 and the Sox had no chemistry. What was worse, the Sox wives and the fab 5 had no chemistry. It was a total miss. But naturally, there were a few interesting observations:

1. Doug Mirabelli is a bit of a dick. He was by far the most homophobic and at one point refused to try on a different shirt - pathetic. I mean, you got yourself into this Doug, may as well play it up

2. Jason Varitek is a totally awesome guy. He played it up well, without being over the top (see Millar) but was also a great sport about the whole thing (got his back waxed). Plus the other interesting thing is the other Sox (Damon, Mirabelli, Millar, and Wakefield) were very much differential to Tek ("wait 'til Tek gets here"). He is clearly the leader. (Plus his wife is totally normal and hot, but not a super model, which makes her hotter. And she is/was pregnant... very pregnant).

3. Johnny Damon has a hair stylist. I am serious. Unfortunately, he buttoned up except for a brief moon-walk for the fashion show. To his credit, he did at one point say to Tek, "Hey Jason, don't you fly your hair stylist in for spring training?" Tek's response was, "dude, I just go to the nearest super cuts". That was about it for banter.

4. Wakefield barely said a word. Plus he had some kind of wax job on his hands to soften the skin, which made me think - Holy Crap no wonder he's struggling this year! Not sure if that has anything to do with anything... All in all he was a good sport. He had his neck waxed and it looked painful!

5. Millar was a bit of a dork to be honest. He was the only guy there without his wife. I missed the first part of the show so I don't know if they explained this at all. Anyway, he is clearly the "class-clown". At one point Carson asks, "Isn't it fun being gay?" Millar's resposnes was, "We never said it's bad to be gay, it's good to be gay... Hey guys, I am gay!" as he waves his hands in the air. He went on to later run around with limp wrists and a couple other silly and obvious jokes.

All in all, it was a bust. I am sure this show jumped the shark many, many, many episodes ago, but if it hasn't this clearly jumped the shark.